I’m so excited to bring you the ReLaunch and ReBrand of Aimee Horton’s ‚The Perfect Disaster Series‚
Velvet Morning Press has recently ReLaunched these books with the fabulous covers below!
I LOVE these new covers!! I can’t wait to read these!!
(To find out more about each book, click on the covers)
A hilarious and honest British mom’s madcap adventures in suburbia, from Amazon UK bestselling author Aimee Horton!
Dottie Harris has a knack for stumbling into chaotic situations, gin & tonic in hand. When Dottie and Henry Harris move to their new house, Dottie’s only desire is to make friends in the neighbourhood. But Dottie, just home from delivering her third child, is struggling to adjust to village life. Recently promoted Henry travels a lot, and the neighbours aren’t very welcoming (although that could be because when Dottie first met them, she had dyed her children green).
So when Dottie accidentally hears her neighbours’ conversations over her baby monitor, she can’t help but use the sneaky information in her quest to build new friendships.
Of course, eavesdropping never ends well, and when Dottie discovers that two of her neighbours are having an affair, she’s horrified. Worse still, the locals are convinced she’s the one who’s doing the cheating. It’s up to Dottie to clear her name and uncover (and expose) the real cheat—in her signature haphazard way!
A humorous blend between chick lit and cozy mystery, this funny novel will have you laughing along with gin-drinking amateur sleuth Dottie!
Previously published as Mothers Ruined
Bridget Jones’s Diary meets The Nanny Diaries in this Amazon UK Best Seller!
The only thing Dottie Harris loves more than her gin & tonic is her family. Most of the time.
From her hapless-but-well-meaning husband to her two energetic bundles of joy, Dottie certainly has her hands full. And she’s tired. So tired.
With quips like „How do sleeping babies know the minute you sit down?” this modern-day diary will have you laughing—when you’re not crying with empathy, that is!
Dottie tells it like it is: the good, the bad, and the eternal piles of dirty laundry.
If you’re looking for chick lit packed with parenting humor, or simply want to know you’re not the only one having trouble parenting newborns and toddlers, this book about the ups and downs of parenthood is for you! It’s a motherhood manifesto, social media style!
Previously published as Survival of the Ginnest.
A hilarious Christmas novella from Amazon UK bestselling author Aimee Horton!
„Cooking for nineteen people will be a cinch!”
Ever-optimistic Dottie Harris is preparing for the biggest and best Christmas celebration ever, and nothing—not even unexpected guests or running out of gin—will get her down.
But as always, things don’t run smoothly for Dottie, and it’s not long before her two energetic children, hapless husband and a nasty stomach bug wreak havoc on her carefully planned spreadsheets.
Can Dottie throw the perfect family Christmas (without so much as a swig of gin to help her through) or will preparing for the festivities get the best of her? One thing’s for sure: This will be a Christmas to remember!
A humorous Christmas novella, perfect if you’re looking for a funny read for the Christmas season, or want to get in the Christmas spirit. Or you can spread some Christmas cheer and give it as a Christmas gift!
Previously published as Survival of the Christmas Spirit.
Find out just how British Dottie is…
Dottie Harris is as British as they come, which is exactly what endears her to us. But when her pregnant American cousin comes for a visit, Dottie is a frazzled disaster who can’t seem to overcome the language barrier.
Perfect Mix-Up is a funny look at parenting from both sides of the pond, and the surprising number of confusing language differences that entails.
If you’d like to try the ebook before you buy, it’s free if you join Aimee’s mailing list: http://bit.ly/aimee-gin-news
Previously published as Lush in Translation.
About the Author:
Aimee is from Lincoln, England, where she enjoys drinking gin and spending time with her family (and she won’t tell you which of those she prefers doing). As a child, one of her favourite parts of the summer holidays was to devour all the books in a little book shop in Devon. She continued reading at lightning speed right up until having children. She now reads with eyes propped open by match sticks.
Find her here:
Writing when the kids are home.
Sitting at my computer on Saturday morning I was just attempting to do a quick sprint on my latest project, the daily wordcount target is quite a stretch, and the thought of doing it all in one go was making me twitchy, so I thought I could quickly wack out 1k of words then I could spend a bit of guilt-free time playing with the monsters before the outlaws picked them up so I could crack on with work and a few other jobs.
I should know by now that this is counter-productive. I know that I should have just put aside my quiet half hour after they were gone, but I’m selfish, I WANTED THAT HOT CUP OF TEA BEFORE I GOT STARTED (plus, you know, a bit of a Netflix binge).
You see, unfortunately I’d promised my eldest that if he’d completed all his tasks for the morning (and I’d given him a long list) he could play Minecraft on the playstation. He’s a determined little bugger, and when he wants something he suddenly remembers how to make his bed and feed the bloody hamster. I have no idea why he wants to go on the playstation. I mean, there is an Xbox in his room, plus we have a computer and ipads. WE ARE BASICALLY GEEK CENTRAL. The only thing I can think of is the fact that the playstation is in the lounge, which happens to be where my desk is right now…although perhaps not for much longer after today.
So there I am, having caved I make him promise to be quiet while I am working, and he agrees. I’m trying to concentrate, splurge my thoughts out as eloquently as I can, and all I can hear is running commentary of Minecraft, along with frequently having to turn around to admire skins and sound out different levels of diamond swords.
“Mmm, invisible you say darling? That’s AH-MAZE-ING” I say, then turn back to my screen.
Dottie couldn’t believe it, of all the things cave spider had to do, and they couldn’t even pour her a skin with fizzy tonic.
Shit! I press delete and begin again, by now The-Five-Year-Old has joined us. He’s on the iPad and watching YouTube videos of other people play a game about worms. So now, as I try and concentrate, I have a small boy going “I need an invisibility potion…and full diamond armour” and I can hear the iPad going “and LOOK! OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS EPPICCCCCCC…”
I get up and go for a wee.
“MUMMY COME AND LOOK AT THIS”
“I’m on the toilet…I’ll be there in a second”
>cue small child showing up at my door<
*sigh* “Yes, that’s a lovely BallisticSquid impression.”
I go back to my desk, but somehow video on the iPad is now speaking in Italian.
Fingers in my ears I re-read what I’ve already written. It’s just a bit pathetic to be honest. As I’m sitting, fingers in ears, attempting to think there’s a tug on my arm. It’s a small child asking for a drink of lemonade.
Grabbing my notepad I go and make the lemonade, I grab a few biscuits and take it upstairs to the boys, both sitting on a chair each. They grunt their thanks and are zoned totally in to their extended screen time.
I grab a load of laundry, empty washer to dyer, dryer into pile and dump at bottom of the stairs, then I sit at the kitchen table with the notepad starting to write my to-do list for this afternoon.
Finally I’m making some headway, but I hear a thud of a small child landing on the floor, followed by another smaller thud – that will be the iPad landing on the laminate – of course.
There’s the slam of a toilet seat and I think that I’m safe…
I stay quiet. Hoping he’ll forget.
Sigh. “I’m downstairs…DO NOT COME DOWNSTAIRS MUMMY WILL COME TO YOU”
Thud. He’s making his way down the stairs, but stops half way down. He’s probably got distracted on the iPad…again.
I carry on, scribbling away, but then the door is flung open and a small child comes in wearing my wellies and my denim shirt. There’s a wet patch.
“Oh…I didn’t get all my wee in the actual toilet, because basically I got distracted”
I’m beyond caring if I’m honest, but because the outlaws are due soon I tell him to get naked and find some more clothes. I return to my desk.
“Hellooooo AND WELCOME TO THEO’S WORLD!” My son’s ‘youtuber’ voice greets me, and I don’t even have time to start looking at my work when he is beside me.
“I NEEED some lunch.”
I’m not going to win. I have created three unfinished tasks, which now need completing.
I head downstairs to begin making lunch, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to pair socks from the laundry pile. The boys naturally gravitate away from what they’re doing and follow me downstairs climbing my legs and jumping on my back.
Doing any sort of work, ‘work work’ or house work, with kids at home is chuffing hard. Even with the usual reliable electronic babysitters, they can sense that I need them to stay occupied, so decide to do the exact opposite.
Pass the gin…and a padded room where I can lock them in…or even better, myself!
Check out the rest of the #BookTour